A Teacher who believes in Learning from Life’s Struggles
September 9, 2017
I am 73 and being active is my motto in life
November 9, 2017
Ms. Anastasia Dedhia, Founder of Mind Mantra shared beautiful memories of her bonding with one of her client Mr.Phiroze Driver, who passed away at the age of 94yrs.
“Darling, can I offer you a martini?” was the first thing I was asked when I met Mr. Phiroze Driver, a Parsi Gentleman living in Cuffe Parade; as I began my sessions with him in the early winters of 2013. The 11 a.m. Monday morning ‘Blues’ changed to beautiful ‘Pinks’. Uncle was 91 when I first met him as an Elder Care Specialist. The age where people usually wait for all to get over, uncle has something to look forward to, always! He seldom missed his date with a lovely cup of sweet, milky coffee at CCI every evening. And as our sessions progressed, CCI and I became the reason for his strength to go ahead in his journey. He would look forward to meeting me every week. Like his son Cyrus once said, “When I was young, I would see a certain rush in my father before he left for work in the morning. I’m beginning to see that same rush in him again before your sessions”.
Along with being meticulous and absolutely vigilant, he was the ‘perfect host’! Never has one session, in my 3 years of visiting, passed wherein he didn’t assure of my comfort. And as our morning sessions spilled over to lunch time, Uncle proposed that we could perhaps have lunch together. He would always courteously ask me about the food, the taste and whether I liked the food or not… (There were times I’d forget to ask him!). Those moments spent during the lunch time introduced me to the deeply caring nature of uncle.
And as the days passed, I realised that I was learning more from him than he could ever, from me. Even at such an age, he would hardly refrain from trying newer things and never refrain from motivating others to try out newer experiences in life. ‘No’ was a term foreign to him. There were times when uncle would talk about the Bombay of his youth, giving me a visual tour of Mumbai back then, with the minutest details of older Bombay. He would animatedly express the locations, various cultural and traditional differences of the gone era (The now magnificent Churchgate station was just a wooden bridge back then).
It was with uncle that I saw the first orchestra of my life. Not only did he give me the tiniest of details of Zubin Mehta’s concert, but also made sure to tell me about the ideal seats and side – seats facing the violin players are better. He gushed every time we talked of Zubin Mehta, his eyes gleaming, he’d say, “Zubin has grown up in front of me. Such a fine conductor he is!”
Within 3 years, 1 person grew into an organization (Mind Mantra) of 4. My fellow ElderCare specialist, then, began with the sessions with uncle and he got along very well with them. After a few sessions with the new ElderCare specialist, uncle told her, “If Anastasia doesn’t come for the next session, tell her not to come at all!” Tears welled up in my eyes when I got to know that he passed away the very next day. I felt loss of a close friend.
Now, after a year since his depart, I know that memory of Mr. Phiroze Driver is etched forever in my heart. While I think of him, a beautiful phrase I read a while ago comes to my mind, “Growing old is mandatory, Growing Up is optional.” He was as young at heart as I was. What I’d like everyone to learn from this special and beloved man is something that I learnt from him, in our years of extraordinary relationship, is – “Whatever you do, do it with passion or don’t do it all!”
