In Memory of my Dad who lived Gracefully

We lived in a small house in rural Maharashtra, where in spite of not being able to communicate in local language, he received a lot of respect and appreciation from people around for his efforts to spend every day in a positive way.

My purpose of writing this is to share how he spent his time for those 8 years i.e. from 1982 till 1990. One thing that clearly stood out was that in spite of having had some very painful experiences he had never cursed anyone except that occasionally looking up he would ask: “Why my good deeds over a lifetime did not get reciprocated by my own..?” And then he would answer himself and say, “Ok, as you wish, God!!” He had immersed himself completely in Bhagavad Gita, the positive energy from which sustained him well.

He would get up early in the morning and after completing his morning routine, he would quietly start reading Bhagavad Gita. Take a break for breakfast and then spend some time listening to Radio News. Once that was done he would go through the newspaper and chat with my children. He would share some stories with them and then he would take a short nap. I always tried to come home for lunch so that I could spend time with him and eat together. Most of the time he would be immersed in deep thoughts and yet was always available for playing with his grandchildren. He always enjoyed their naughty and innocent acts and used to have a good laugh with them.

In the evenings after having his cup of tea, he would visit the temple, where he would attend the evening Aarti and spend few hours enjoying the environment and would quietly walk back home just before the darkness of night descended. There would be occasions he would lose his way but then being a small place where we lived some or the other kind soul would guide him home.

At night, he would have his dinner, listen to radio for some time and would be off to sleep by 10.00 p.m.

Never ever did he ask any questions or interfere with our day to day routine. From our end we ensured that my wife would be always at home before it was time for his evening tea or meals. Not only that, we also never let him feel alone for all those 8 years.

Let me just share some salient points on how he maintained a positive frame of mind and lived a healthy life: Nature1

1. He focused on all that was positive in his life. Yes, his desire of returning permanently to his hometown and family home could not materialise but I don’t think he ever carried that regret.
2. He never blamed or complained for anything. He was able to adjust and adapt well with the changed circumstances. Yes, from the life of a millionaire to that of a person who was hardly left with anything due to his own generosity and trust he had in some people who lived in his heart and who didn’t reciprocate with the similar gesture. He accepted whatever happened in the past as will of God.
3. He had unflinching faith in God, he practiced this spiritual connect by spending six hours daily on reading and reflecting on the teachings of Bhagavad Gita. During the last 10 years of his life, this is what gave him a deeper understanding of his past and the current situation and made him more content.

Simply put – He always hoped for the better. He had thrown blame and complaint and worry out of the window and lived a life of thankfulness for every meal he and his family was served.

Three lessons from his life which have helped me in good stead are: Man in Universe

1. Always do what is right and that which doesn’t harm you or anyone else in any dimension of life.
2. If you keep your expenses lower than your income, then you will be the richest person in life.
3. Adopt the practice of FORGIVENESS. This can be practiced by doing three things:
• Seeking forgiveness from those whom we may have hurt knowingly or unknowingly at any point of time.
• Forgiving those who we think did wrong to us. They could do that because somewhere we were weak. We need to take that responsibility and that’s where the 3rd point comes
• We need to forgive ourselves for all the errors in living.

In fact, I found my father at a stage where life needed to just flow in a happy and contented rhythm and that could flow only because he was to keep himself free of negativity, envy, jealous, anger, hurt, fear and hate. No, they don’t have any place when we are keen to enjoy a restful evening of our lives. We need to fill ourselves with the positive energy that comes from all the lovely and happy memories which reside in our brighter inner space. And you know what, we can keep creating happier memories every moment by making happier choices. My own belief is this: Not everyone is lucky to enjoy the evening of life in today’s times when stress and myriad illnesses and violence takes so much toll on human life. Those who are lucky to get into the category of senior citizens need to make most of it. Nature pic with hope

And there is no greatness in denying one’s age by making it up because years inside cannot be hidden. They do show-up in the wrinkles hiding stories of one’s struggles and lives. Acceptance is the first principle for aging happily, gracefully and taking pride in a life well spent.

Well, my father left us in 1990, when I was 30, yet his ideals continue to be our guiding principles.